When Leather Bars Disappear

Over the past few years I’ve heard a rather constant stream of discontent from kinky gay men who feel that their bars are disappearing. The popularity of the leather bar, as they’ve typically been referred to, seems to be waning. In city after city I hear of the closing of, or lack of business in, leather bars. A few such bars seem to buck the trend and maintain a good kinky bar clientele, but they are not the norm.

Even here in San Francisco, a bastion of leather/kink activity, this issue arises. We have some bars that cater to kinky gay men, but still guys report that the bar experience just isn’t always as fulfilling as it once was. Perhaps it’s the internet and online connections. Perhaps it’s just the passing or morphing of an institution. Regardless of the reason, those who care have but two real courses of action: complain and moan about it, or do something about it. As an experiment, I tried doing something about it recently.

I created Race’s Bar, a flash mob kinky gay men’s bar group. Through the magic of Facebook networking, my email list, and the kindness of other men who helped the information go viral, I sent out a notice about 24 hours before the event and had great results.

So with rather minimal effort that amounted to a couple of hours creating a Facebook group and adding the appropriate friends as members, sharing a few posts in that group, and sending out an email to my email list, I was able to gather 45-50 kinky gay men in a local bar for three hours of good times, great friends, and fostering the types of connections that only happen face-to-face.

I encourage others to do similar things. As the kink scene changes and morphs, we must change and morph with it if we’re to remain sexually and socially satisfied. Let’s not complain about things changing. Let’s do things to make the changes work for us.

Should you be interested, here’s the original notice I sent out. Maybe you could do something similar in your local area. If you do, I’d love to hear about it. Let’s keep the magic of both online and offline kinky connections happening.

Subject: Race Bannon invites you to Race’s Bar – Help spread the word!
What: Race’s Bar – a flash mob bar event for sexually adventurous San Francisco gay men.
Why: The kinky among us, and the curious, need more places to hang out and socialize.
Where: Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom Street, San Francisco
When: Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Time: 8:30 p.m. to 11:30 p.m.
Cost: None, just show up, buy a drink or two, and tip your bartenders and coat check guys well.
Wear: Gear up or come as you are, the important thing is that you’re there.
Help: Email, share, tweet, text, call and tell other guys about this event. Spread the word!